Caylee Anthony Watch: Nancy Grace To Trademark "Tot Mom" Phrase

CNN personality Nancy Grave has filed to trademark the expression "Tot Mom" as a reference to Casey Anthony, mother of the murdered Caylee Anthony. "Nancy originated the phrase," says a spokesperson for the network. "It is her unique intellectual property. Grace's incessant, endless, grating repetition of the phrase, coupled with her nasal, shrewish, high-pitched whine, has created a distinctive and original phraseology which she is well within her rights to retain and develop as a brand. "

By repeating "Tot Mom" in referring to the Caylee Anthony case as often as every 4 seconds within a 42 minute time period, 5 nights a week, twice every night, Grace has laid the groundwork for the ownership and monetization of a verbal trademark. In-house focus groups have shown because of the jackhammer-like pounding she is inflicting on her viewers with what is otherwise a trite, banal expression, Nancy can and should take steps to protect her intellectual property rights. "By trademarking the phrase, Grace is in line to collect royalaties for usage of the phrase by others, although some observers doubt that possibility. "I wouldn't touch that "Tot Mom" thing with a ten-foot pole," a source said. "It's shorthand for 'I'm a nasty, stupid, rodent- faced idiot with a tv show,' if you ask me. She can have it."

Nancy Grace Takes Caylee Anthony Case To The View

An unusually calm Nancy Grace discusses the Caylee Anthony Case on The View.

Cartier Introduces Gold And Diamond Bernard Madoff Voodoo Doll

Luxury jeweler Cartier has announced plans to introduce a $1500 Limited Edition Bernard Madoff voodoo doll, featuring a lock of the alleged ponzi schemer's hair. "Working with artisanal native craftworkers from Haiti, Cartier will produce an authentic Madoff Voodoo Doll," according to a Cartier press release. "With the exclusive-to-Cartier feature of an actual lock of Mr. Madoff's hair, owners may use the five 24 carat gold pins with diamond accents to stab the doll whenever and wherever they please, as often as they wish, and the pain of the puncture will be transmitted via the black spell of the netherworld directly to Mr. Madoff himself."

Cartier says its initial foray into luxury accessories for witchcraft is in response to overwhelming consumer demand. "Our customers -- many of whom suffered grievous financial injury from Mr. Madoff's actions -- indicated their desire to combine a wish for retribution with beautiful, yet functional, jewelry," a spokeman for Cartier said. Cartier would not disclose how it had obtained locks of Madoff's hair, but noted that each voodoo doll will be accompanied by a certificate of authenticity.

CNN's Nancy Grace Renames Twins Caylee And Anthony

In a bid to boost ratings, CNN anchor Nancy Grace reportedly has decided to rename her one-year-old twins Caylee and Anthony in honor of murdered toddler, Caylee Anthony. Grace's infants, who were born prematurely, were originally named Lucy Elizabeth and John David.

"Nancy is dead set on riding the Caylee gravy train to the end. And competition from her rival Jane Velez Mitchell is really making her feel the heat," one CNN insider said.

Grace's nanny, Yrma Gonzalez, reports that the twins don't mind the name change one bit. "They don't even know their names yet," Gonzalez said. "And they're used to hearing Nancy repeat 'Caylee Anthony , Caylee Anthony, Caylee Anthony' day and night anyway."

OJ Simpson, Bernie Madoff To Appear in NBC “Celebrity Apprentice: Prison Edition"

Convicted felons O.J. Simpson, Wesley Snipes, Keifer Sutherland, and Tom Sizemore will be joining the cast of NBC’s upcoming show, “Celebrity Apprentice: Prison Edition.” The slate of 16 celebrities with legal troubles will also include performer Kid Rock, tabloid personality Paris Hilton, Joey Buttafuoco, Boy George and Michael Lohan, the father of Lindsay Lohan. Disgraced financier Bernard Madoff, who is soon to be convicted on multiple counts of fraud, is also expected to join the cast. “Life in the Big House can be rough,” says host Donald Trump. “It’s important to know who’s the snitch, where to hide a shank, and how to run a profitable cigarette smuggling operation. We’ll be watching to see who can perform at the highest levels under that kind of pressure.” The hour-long show is expected to join the NBC line up in mid-March.

CNN Ousts Nancy Grace; Caylee Anthony Show To Air Immediately

CNN Headlines News executives have decided to rename host Nancy Grace's hour-long program "The Caylee Anthony Show, Featuring Nancy Grace." The change is effective immediately. "At this point, Nancy more or less has Caylee's name tattooed across her forehead," a network source said. "We're extending the brand. If you watch the program, Nancy says 'Caylee' about once every 10 seconds. Our proprietary research indicates that if we accelerate that rate, we'll improve ratings dramatically. What we're aiming for is to have Nancy Grace staring at the camera and demanding in a high-pitched, grating shriek, 'Where is Caylee Anthony?' or some variation thereof about once every 6 seconds for a full hour, five nights a week. We see a franchise in this." Grace could not be reached for comment.

Regulators Offer Early Peek At Bernard Madoff Assets

Apparently disgraced Ponzi master, Bernard Madoff, wasn't exaggerating when he told federal agents he was completely "broke." A preliminary list of Madoff assets indicates that bilked investors stand little chance of ever getting their money back, sources close to the investigation say.

Here are some of the Madoff assets that will be up for grabs:

* A $113 returned merchandise credit from Bloomingdales

* A gold-plated class ring from Far Rockaway High School

* A video cassette of "Wall Street," autographed by Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen

* Yeshiva University men's basketball season tickets

* A vintage Farrah Fawcett poster (reportedly stolen from his son, Mark)

Sources say a few other items--including a hardwood replica of Madoff's fishing boat, Bull--may be added to the final list of assets when Madoff turns it over to the Securities and Exchange Commission before New Year's Eve.