Caroline Bouvier Kennedy Puts The "You" In You Know

Oh, that Caroline Kennedy... Though she refuses to provide basic data about her finances, she expects Gov. David Paterson to appoint her to succeed Hillary Clinton in the Senate. And she has absolutely no experience. Oh yeah, and her favorite word is "you know."

CNN Ousts Nancy Grace; Caylee Anthony Show To Air Immediately

CNN Headlines News executives have decided to rename host Nancy Grace's hour-long program "The Caylee Anthony Show, Featuring Nancy Grace." The change is effective immediately. "At this point, Nancy more or less has Caylee's name tattooed across her forehead," a network source said. "We're extending the brand. If you watch the program, Nancy says 'Caylee' about once every 10 seconds. Our proprietary research indicates that if we accelerate that rate, we'll improve ratings dramatically. What we're aiming for is to have Nancy Grace staring at the camera and demanding in a high-pitched, grating shriek, 'Where is Caylee Anthony?' or some variation thereof about once every 6 seconds for a full hour, five nights a week. We see a franchise in this." Grace could not be reached for comment.

Regulators Offer Early Peek At Bernard Madoff Assets

Apparently disgraced Ponzi master, Bernard Madoff, wasn't exaggerating when he told federal agents he was completely "broke." A preliminary list of Madoff assets indicates that bilked investors stand little chance of ever getting their money back, sources close to the investigation say.

Here are some of the Madoff assets that will be up for grabs:

* A $113 returned merchandise credit from Bloomingdales

* A gold-plated class ring from Far Rockaway High School

* A video cassette of "Wall Street," autographed by Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen

* Yeshiva University men's basketball season tickets

* A vintage Farrah Fawcett poster (reportedly stolen from his son, Mark)

Sources say a few other items--including a hardwood replica of Madoff's fishing boat, Bull--may be added to the final list of assets when Madoff turns it over to the Securities and Exchange Commission before New Year's Eve.

Gisele Bundchen And Tom Brady Tapped For Movie Remake of "Errand Boy"

Recently engaged couple Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen are in talks to star in a remake of the vintage Jerry Lewis film "Errand Boy," sources say. "It's Giselle's idea," according to the source. "Brady seems a little lukewarm on it, probably because he already spends most of his time running errands for her." (Indeed, the injured football star last week paid a paparazzi $2500 not to print a picture of him standing in line at Walgreens as he waited to buy a box of Tampax for the Brazilian supermodel.)

The source went on to say the biggest hurdle for the movie deal is finding the right script. "This is a comedy, and neither Brady nor Giselle have much of a sense of humor. They're both kind of stiff and wooden."

Schwarzenegger Orders eBay Auction of Hollywood Sign

Facing a depleted Treasury, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger today authorized a sweeping fund raising effort that includes such measures as auctioning on eBay the individual letters of the fabled "Hollywood" sign in Los Angeles, selling the naming rights to the Golden Gate Bridge, and affixing advertising to roads signs on state highways. "It's a fantastic opportunity," said the Governor of the plan to sell the 50-foot high letters of the landmark sign in the Hollywood hills. "Owning a piece of Hollywood history like this is an opportunity that comes around once in a lifetime."

Officials said that under the terms of the auction, each letter would be owned individually, with restrictions on movement. "A person could receive legal title to the letter," one source said. "But they can't move it. Or paint it. Or actually do anything to it. It's kind of an ego thing, actually."

Plans for selling the naming rights for other state structures, such as the Golden Gate Bridge, are also in motion. "We envision stadium names, like the Intel Golden Gate Bridge, or the Denny's Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity Golden Gate Bridge." Highway signs are also included. In one example, an exit sign for the 405 freeway would be known as the Long John Silver Exit 27 Upland/ Cienega. "We have to be creative, " Schwarzenegger said. "Raising taxes is not the answer. The Toyota Highlander Presents Leo Carillo Beach State Park is."